I think that growing your family—in any way—can be joyful, tumultuous, exhilarating, stressful, breath-taking, and nerve-wracking. I don’t think that any of you would be surprised if I said “International adoption can be really difficult.”
Each and every one of us could probably say that about our journey to, and through, parenthood. While at times this adoption journey is a breeze… there are days and weeks where I wonder “how do people do this???” And considering I’ve already done it once, well… that’s saying something. Granted, that “something” may be that I’m more tired… less patient… any myriad of things. (Just ask my husband, I’m sure he could offer up several hypothesis!) Maybe it’s like childbirth and you can’t really remember “the last time” when you are back at the same spot. Or maybe it’s true that a lack of sleep dulls certain memories. Considering that I can barely remember my pre-kid self most days, a part of me wonders if it was really this hard last time, but I just don’t remember.
Yet at the same time, this process has always been different. It’s more involved. It’s longer. It’s a lot of things, but what it’s not is a repeat of the first process. I haven’t been able to pinpoint why exactly. Is it one big thing? Is it just a bunch of little things? Trust me… the last time we went through the adoption process, it was no walk in the park. There was a lot waiting, there were lots of hurdles to clear. We knew all this going in though. So I sit here, kind of confused about why I’m struggling. And then it hit me… this process requires a lot more faith [in the system(s)].